Lies

Describe the even that pushed your button—where you (over)reacted.  He slammed and locked his car door, and sped off, leaving me sobbing in a church parking lot. 

What were you thinking?  I need to fix this.

What was your first thought?  How can he not love me?

What was your next thought?  I need him.

What were you feeling?  Un-protected.  Dishonored.  Worthless.

When have you thought that or felt that way before?

·   When M left me for another girl.

·   When J had sex with another girl, but refused to have sex with me.

·   When R cheated on me with another girl.

·   When G shut down, because he was moving to FL.

·   When R told me he couldn’t be with anyone, but then signed up for online dating.

·   When M would leave immediately after every encounter.

·   When A never called back.

·   When D told me he didn’t love me.

·   When S hit me. 

Write these out.  Thoughts > Emotions > Behavior

·   She’s not even pretty!  I was jealous, betrayed, and hurt.  My behavior…I did everything I could to try and get him back.  To prove I was worth love.

·   She’s not even pretty.  He loved me and refused to have sex with her.  What’s wrong with me?  I thought about taking him back, just to be able to control him.

·   She’s not even pretty!  Angry.  Betrayed.  Determined.  I slept with him just to prove I was a better lover.

·   I’m not worth love.  Angry.  I ignored him.

·   I’m not worth love.  Angry.  Betrayed.  I called him a million times, went over to his house, and tried to show him I was worth loving.

·   I’m not funny or make enough money.  Forsaken.  Sad.  Angry.  I ignored him.

·   I’m not worth even a phone call.  Angry.  I ignored it.

·   I’m not worth love.  Sad.  Depressed.  I pulled away.

·   Even my own family can’t love me.  Angry.  I pulled away.

Based on these thoughts what does that say about you?  I’m easy to leave.  I feel like I’m not worthy of any kind of love, attention or affection.  I feel like I’m worthless and I either try to win them back to prove something to myself, or ignore them, because there is a part of me hoping they’ll realize what they left behind if I withhold.

What key words are you hearing?  (Similar words that are repeated, perhaps around a theme.)  Unworthy.  Abandoned.  Betrayed.  Shut down.

What message does the stronghold lie say about who you are?  (Summarize it to an “I am” statement.)  I am unworthy of love, but I need love to be happy, so I’ll never be happy.  People only love me to serve a selfish need and when that need has been met, I’m discarded.

What does this lie say about who God is to you or how He sees you?  God is selfish.  He doesn’t want to see me happy.  He doesn’t care about me.  He doesn’t care if I’m happy.  He doesn’t care if I’m ever loved by anyone.  God is selfish, and He’s the reason why I’ve been in all these failed relationships.  If God is love, and I’m not worthy of love, then how could He ever love me or let me be loved?  I am never going to be loved.  God is going to use me till there's nothing left.  My happiness doesn't matter.  And then he's going to discard me just like all the rest.